My date of birth

Today is my 35th birthday. I feel old, but I could kinda care less. I don't feel old all in a bad way, I feel like I have finally reached the age I have always felt I should be. I have always been older than my age, and now maybe it'll even out? I am so blessed as things could be really a whole lot worse in my life. But they are pretty darn good. Considering. I can remember last year's birthday. It was awful. I had gotten into a pretty horrible argument with Mark. So I spent time just driving around, and ended up on Kate's doorstep. But it was good to be with her and the kids, as Rach made me wonderful birthday pictures (that I still have up in our room!) and we ate Ramen noodles and made the best cupcakes ever with real butter cream frosting. Thanks Kate for being there for me when I have needed you. I think back now and I can't remember what Mark and I were even fighting about... I remember being really mad at him. Like, "I don't know where to go but I'll end up in Illinois if I don't figure this out soon", kinda mad. I was still dealing with a lot of different things, the whole situation and the unknown. Now, I think about how time together is so precious and I plan on never "fighting" in the near future. I recently got pretty angry about something I thought Mark did (thought a whole bunch of pictures online were deleted, gone - never to be retrieved), when it wasn't and I realized - I will still get upset about things he does. He's an entire state away and I got upset about some pictures online! I figure, eventually it will go back to "normal" tiffs and whatever, but we are more God focused and better equipped to communicate and work things out when we are together again. This weekend, nothing felt better than resting my head on his chest and snuggling. Just being able to look him in the eye and not see fear or worry or sadness. I feel ultimate love and respect from Mark. I don't just love my husband, I am IN love with my husband all over again. We just can't wait for the "starting over" to begin! Only 5 1/2 more months! That's it! It will be the best Thanksgiving EVER. The best Christmas, EVER. The best future. EVER. I am blessed. This is a great start to a new year.