Renewed

A plank page. A blinking cursor. It feels a bit daunting. I can remember when I started doing this, it was much like tonight. Late. Everyone in bed. But, I usually had something to vent about or just felt quirky. Am I still quirky? I don't even know. Life seems to have gotten so serious over the years. For crying out loud, I am the mother of a teenager! A teenager I tell you! I suddenly feel old. Out of it. Behind in the times. But, today, despite this crummy cold I have, I feel a "peace" over me. A calm. Renewed. I learned some valuable and important things. I know what I need to do. I am blessed with what I want to do. I have faith. Where there is faith, there is always hope. Here we go!

Heart Day

Driving back from Grafton was reminiscent of 10 years ago - yet having the kids with me in the car made it surreal, and powerful. The long drive on the highway after a long day at the hospital, feeling both exhausted and energized, felt like it did when I drove home from Northwestern in Chicago after Mark had his kidney-pancreas transplant. It was difficult to leave Mark at the hospital then, what to me felt like “alone”, but I had to get home to the then two-year-old Remy and four month old Dax. I wanted to be both places, but had to choose one. There was nothing I could do whether I was at the hospital or not. Even tonight I, I know now more than ever that God’s got this. But I still wish I was there in the room when they come to draw blood or check a blood pressure. It just “feels” better.  However, tonight on the drive home the kids and I talked. A lot. Man, did we TALK! We talked about my book, what I was titling it, what the cover would look like, what it was about (would today be in it?). How would revealing our private life in print to the world make them feel, what would people say, how would they be treated? We talked about being a Christian, being salt and light to others.  We talked about being persecuted as a Christian, for standing up for our beliefs. We talked about all that God has done in our lives, what He is doing right in this moment. We talked about all the “whys” we’ve experienced. What God is doing with the “whys” in Mark’s and my life, but also how He’ll use “whys” in their lives, too. We talked and I “preached” so much, that at one point I was worried I’d missed our exit and was half way to Green Bay

Things got repeated throughout the day. From stories, to prayers, to simple conversation – we know this:

No matter the situation or circumstances one thing is constant – God.

God is the same, yesterday, today, tomorrow.

There are angels among us. Angels are very real.

The Lord uses these situations not just for us, but for others. Who knows what kind of impact todays’ events might have on others… Christian’s and non alike.

No amount of thinking or worry is going to change what God has already written. So we pray!

So, today Mark and Remy played in a benefit softball tournament for Living Hope International through our church Word of Grace. They had already played two games and had had a long break. Mark had been having high blood sugars, and when they started to play the third game, Mark started getting severe cramps in his legs. He said he had never felt anything like it, ever before. The weather was extremely sunny and hot today, but Mark was staying hydrated and just could not make sense of it all. So, he took himself out of the game, and felt like he was going to be sick. He did not get sick, but made it to the bathroom and sat in a chair near the restrooms, I guess. He sat down and felt he was going to pass out, but only remembers coming to with everyone around him while he was flat on the concrete. Paramedics came and checked his blood sugar and apparently Mark was talking to them and others, but he does not remember it. When in the ambulance, they did an EKG and did not like the result, and started asking the heart attack questions… nausea, pain in chest, numbness, etc. Transport then changed from the local hospital to one a half hour away, as it is better equipped to handle a heart attack situation. Mark was given two bags of fluids in the ambulance and when they did the EKG at the hospital it looked good. Mark was still not in any pain, more like uncomfortable from the leg cramping. They drew up a ton of blood work for every function you can think of. The triponin level was elevated. This tells them about muscle damage to the heart.  This level is rechecked three or so times during a certain amount of time – like 12 hours or something. There was concern that if this level rises, they would want to do testing to look at the heart. This would require dye, and with his kidney post-transplant, he would require extra monitoring. They would move him to another hospital that was more equipped to handle a transplant patient. So there was potential of Mark being moved. So I got worried when the second level of triponin was also elevated. The nurse said when we left this evening that the Doctor had not called back about the levels, so at that time no news was good news. There still needs to be a few more labs to be done to draw a conclusion on the whole heart attack thing. Mark remains at the hospital tonight for monitoring. He had been moved to a room, eaten dinner and had a visit with our Pastor and his wife and my parents (they brought insulin pump supplies from home as Mark needed a site change! Of course he did!)  He has remained alert, never in any pain and considering today’s events - doing quite well. 

Thank you for all prayers. Keep them coming. I’ll keep you posted.